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[ad] Today I am dreaming of Christmas parties. Anyone else? We’re only halfway through the month and we’ve already had more family gatherings than I can count with so many more to go. And Christmas parties in the Bartlett household means photos…lots of photos. But I just didn't feel very photo-ready thanks to my grays (and yes, I had A LOT of grays). So I picked up @zotosprofessional hair color at @sallybeauty and these days I'm feeling gorgeous, confident, and ready to take on the holiday photos. Today on the blog, I'm sharing how I get myself photo-ready as well as what I plan to wear to this year's Christmas party! #MyAgeBeautiful #sponsored #linkinbio
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[ad] Today I am dreaming...

I've been a bit MIA lately. Why you may ask? Well, because I've been half on the struggle bus and half working on a rather large project that I've had in draft mode for far too long. And I am SO excited about it. I literally woke up the other day and decided THAT was the day I'd get started on it and I've been hooked on it ever since. If you're a mom in Southern Maine, you won't want to miss this! So be sure to sign up for our email list via the link in my bio so you can be one of the first to know what's going on.
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I've been a bit MIA...

Well, it's officially the day Zack and I have been looking forward to for a couple of years now. While we've already unofficially been "moved on" from military life for a couple of months now, today it's official that Zack is no longer an Active Duty Marine and I am no longer a military spouse. The first big chapter of his adult life and our life together has officially ended. It's scary almost when you've been living with all the stability of a lifestyle for so long. A stable job, stable income, health benefits, a home. It's been a challenging couple of months as we get more settled here in Maine and figure out the next step for our little family. But I know we have so much to look forward to in the next year and it's refreshing to know we have the opportunity to start over. I am so proud of this guy and I can't wait to see what the next chapter of our life has in store for us. •
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Well, it's officially the day...

This mama is on the struggle bus today. This morning I spent over an hour searching for Allie's sippy cup of milk only to find it in the shower...where I looked 5+ times considering that's where she was playing while I got ready for the day. I then got the incorrect order from Dunkin and to make that even worse, it was pumpkin flavored...and if you know me, you know I cannot stand anything pumpkin flavored so I couldn't even suck it up and drink it (shoutout to @mwhited8195 for bringing me the correct drink order!). Nap time wasn't any better. A solid 40 minutes of crying before Allie finally went down...then she woke up 30 minutes later 🙄 And now I'm scrambling to get everything on my to-do list done so we can officially launch Blogmas tomorrow 😬 It's been a morning and I'm about ready for my own nap at this point. But at least it's Friday? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
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This mama is on the...

It's yet another snow day here in Maine. The last winter I spent here was in 2015 and we maybe had three snow storms all winter. This year, we've had 3-5 just in the last couple of weeks 🙄 I'm already homesick for beautiful and warm North Carolina summers 😔 anyone else here who hates winter? If you need us, Allie and I will be curled up inside with some movies and a never-ending to-do list. #bloggerlife •
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It's yet another snow day...

Blogmas starts in T-5 days! I've been working so hard on producing awesome Blogmas content these past couple of months so I'm super excited to finally start sharing it with you all this weekend. Today on the blog I'm sharing a quick breakdown of Blogmas 2018, what you can look forward to on Mainely Keating, and 25 blog post ideas for those of you who want to participate in Blogmas as well! You can find the link to the full blog post in my bio! •
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Blogmas starts in T-5 days!...

Creating New Year Resolutions With Your Spouse

Creating New Year Resolutions With Your Spouse | KeatingBartlett.com

This is the second year that Zack and I have decided to create our own New Year resolutions. I saw another couple do this and though “Wow! Why haven’t I thought of that?”. We spend so much time creating goals for ourselves each year, but it’s not typical that a couple would create resolutions together for their own personal relationship. So I decided to try it out. Like any other resolution, it lasted a couple of months and then I completely forgot about it for a little bit. Being that we started 2016 in separate countries, it was so important for us to focus on our marriage as much as we could. So they really helped for those first few months. Then we instantly came back to them when he returned home and life became stressful and hard again with all the transitions.

While we failed at sticking with them for 100% of the year, the time we did spend focused on them helped us out a ton. By the end of the year, our marriage was significantly better and stronger than it was at the start of the year. So since this new year is going to be full of so many changes, we decided to make resolutions again this year so that we’re continuously focused on ourselves regardless of how busy life is getting for us. As new parents, I feel that these are even more important as it can be easy to put your marriage on the back burner when you have a new addition to the family. So if you’re a new parent or are about to be this year, then these are essential for your relationship!

SO WHY SHOULD YOU CREATE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

For the same reason that you create resolutions for yourself. To improve your marriage in some way throughout the year. To give yourself a goal and something to work towards to make your marriage stronger and better than ever. To work together with your partner to find new ways to grow together. It can be something small like finding more time for date nights or dedicating a certain part of your day to tech-free time together or something bigger like learning to communicate more effectively, rebuilding trust, or any other bigger issue the two of you may be having. The goals will vary from couple to couple, but the point of it is to focus on something that isn’t working as well in your marriage and find new ways to fix it and make it better. I’m a strong believer in fixing things that are broken rather than throwing them away. A marriage is no different.

HOW TO CREATE RESOLUTIONS WITH YOUR SPOUSE:

Pick a night or time of the day where the two of you are both home together at the same time and can have that uninterrupted time together to talk. This can be late at night after the kids go to bed or even during a lunch date in the middle of your work day. Whatever works for you and your schedules. I’d say to give yourselves a good hour to really dig deep and talk about the issues you may be having in your marriage. As I mentioned before, your marriage goals are going to be different from other couples. So don’t feel bad or weird if your marriage needs a little more work. These resolutions are in place to help you fix those issues!

When we make resolutions, we make a resolution that we’re working on together as well as one for each of us as individuals to keep it a bit more well-rounded. So first and foremost, go over your individual needs. This takes good communication skills and sometimes a whole lot of patience. But don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you’re lacking in terms of what you need out of the relationship. If you need them to listen more, then tell them. If you need them to help out more around the house, then ask for that help. If there’s a more serious issue that hasn’t yet been resolved, then bring it up. Your spouse needs to know what you need out of the marriage as well as what they can do to help you and make sure those needs are met. In return, you too need to listen to your partner when they tell you what they need from the marriage as well. It’s a two-way street so be patient and understanding when listening to what they have to say.

Once you determine what you each need to be focused on individually, it’s time to come up with a resolution that you both are working towards together whether it be learning to communicate better or taking the time out of your busy schedules to focus on your marriage. Find an issue that you’re having and find a way to resolve it or work towards making it better. Maybe this even involves getting a therapist involved and dedicating an hour of your week to marriage counseling. That’s perfectly okay too! Again, do what you have to do for your marriage.

OUR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2017:

So after a bit of a discussion with my husband, we came up with the following resolutions:

MY RESOLUTION: To learn how to ask for help more often.

While I hate when women expect their partners to know what’s going on in their heads, I myself am guilty of never asking for help because I expect Zack to know when I might be needing it. Most times it’s smaller things like helping with the dishes or cooking dinner or straightening up the house. When I ask him to do something, he never has an issue doing it. In fact, 9 times out of 10, he gets up instantly to do it. But the problem is that I never ask him to do it. And I need to do that more often. So now I’ll be trying to do better with delegating household tasks so that I’m not overwhelmed and stressed out all the time feeling like I have to do it all.

ZACK’S RESOLUTION: To be a bit more patient and understanding when I’m having bad mental health days.

In his defense, he just doesn’t know how to help sometimes when I’m having a bad day. I know he feels lost and a bit confused when I’m moody out of nowhere or if I just wake up not feeling like myself. I imagine that’s quite frustrating for him. So this is actually something we’ll be working on together a bit. I need to communicate with him more when something is bothering and tell him how he can help me. In turn, he’ll be learning to be more patient and understanding of the fact that sometimes it’s just not my fault that I woke up the way that I did. So this will be a work in progress this year.

OUR RESOLUTION: To learn to listen more and talk less.

Gosh we’re so bad with this. It’s horrible, you guys. It’s the one thing that keeps us from having excellent communication skills. We’re both talkers more than we are listeners. We both want to be the one that’s heard and when it comes down to having to be the one to listen, we both seem to mentally check out a bit. And it just doesn’t work. So we need to learn to work together to solve issues in a way that benefits both of us. And this will have to involve those listening skills that we’re lacking. So this will be our big goal for the year.

Our marriage is in a really good place right now so I have high hopes for this year in terms of our marriage goals and resolutions. I have no doubt that we’ll be even better by the end of the year and I am so excited to see where this year takes us. This year, I challenge you and your spouse to take your marriage to the next level and create some resolutions of your own!

Do you make resolutions with your spouse each year? What are your resolutions for this year?

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XOXO
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