Good morning and happy Thursday everyone! I hope you all are having a really awesome week! I’ve been a little MIA this week so I really wanted to take a moment to check in with you all and kind up update you on things around here. Honestly, nothing major is happening to cause me to be so disconnected right now, it’s simply that I have a ton of things on my mind all day, every single day. So I guess it’s safe to say, I’m a little bit overwhelmed right about now.
FIRST THINGS, FIRST: WORK…
I’ve been bouncing back and forth with my plans for work since we got here. Originally, the plan was that I’d apply for a position with the Padres and really start my career and gain experience so that by the time we moved back to New England, I’d be all set for a job with the Red Sox. Then we got here, found out I’m pregnant, and now I’m just not sure what I want to do. There are so many plans in play:
Plan A: Get a job with the Padres, take time off from work when the baby’s born and then go back to work full-time once she’s 12 weeks old or so.
Plan B: Get a job with the Padres to build up my resume a bit before the baby arrives. Then, I’d quit and stay home with her and work on my blog for the first year until we move back to New England.
Plan C: Use this time to focus on school and my blog and then get a job with the Padres a few months after the baby is born and everything is a little more settled around here.
Plan D: Completely disregard my plans to work in sports right now and focus solely on my blog and everything I have planned for it. Then I can start my sports career once we’re back in New England next year.
As you can see, there are a few ways this can go down. And it’s been quite a stressful process trying to figure it all out. I’ve had way too much negativity surrounding my career lately and it makes these choices that much harder. I’m over here working hard and yet I have people telling me my career “wont matter” once the baby is here. And that bothers me so much. While I know my priorities and plans will change a bit once she’s here (duh), I do not feel that my personal goals and wants and needs should be put on the back burner just because I’m a parent. My happiness matters just as much. And it’s so important to me to stay focused on that regardless of how many kids we have.
I personally couldn’t imagine not working. Nothing against those moms out there who choose to stay at home with their kids. It’s a personal choice and everyone’s different in that sense. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s so important to do what’s best for you and your family. But for me and my mental health, it would be very hard to be a SAHM. I couldn’t watch my degrees collect dust and allow my husband to make all the money and pay the bills on his own. I just couldn’t do it. Which is why I take these choices so seriously right now. That’s why I’m so stressed in figuring out how to balance it and make it all work out for us. So if that means having a full-time career while also being a parent, then that’s just how it’s going to be.
Until yesterday, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had contemplated all the various plans in my mind and even reached out to multiple friends to gain their insight as well. The general consensus was that I’d play it by ear and go from there. No real plan in place. And then I broke down a little yesterday. After discussing it with Zack, it looks like I’ll be going with Plan B. Oh, did I mention I landed a job with the Padres? I’m still waiting on my training schedule, but I should be starting that at the end of January or early February. This is part of why I’ve been so stressed. I didn’t know how to balance taking on a new job while pregnant. But it looks like I’m diving in!
With Plan B, I can have the best of both worlds. I’ll have a career that I personally built from the ground up while also being able to raise our daughter in our own home. But this means I have a little bit of a deadline in place. I have until late May to get this blog to where I want it. The pressure is real right now.
SO THEN WE HAVE THIS BLOG…
Oh man, where to even start with this one…
This is a biggie right now. As you all know, I’ve made a ton of changes around here these past few months. This has been something I’ve wanted to focus on full-time for a while now and I’m finally on the right path to turning this blog into the type of community I want it to be. It’s already doing a million times better and I’ve invested a lot recently in some business and blogging courses to help me really hone in on my target audience and focus on moving everything forward. So far, everything is amazing and I couldn’t be happier with where it’s going. But I’m still having an issue with my blog’s name…
I am so thankful to have been able to keep the same audience that I’ve had since day 1 of this blog. You all are absolutely incredible and you’ve been there for me through everything these last few years. That’s part of why I’m working so hard to make this site bigger and better and more helpful for you all. But I’m still not happy with the blog’s name and it’s driving me absolutely insane. Not to mention, it also makes me feel horrible for all of you as well. I feel like every time you all come to my site, something’s been changed since your last visit. While I’m doing so much better with consistency in my social media and posting (aside from this week), I’m doing horrible when it comes to not changing things around here. And I’m sorry for that.
I love my blog’s current name. I really do. But as I transition into a new target audience, new content, and even new monetization methods, I’m now very much wanting my site to be in my own name. For me, this isn’t a new idea or anything. I knew at some point that I’d want my site to be keatingbartlett.com, but I just never thought to do it yet for some reason. I actually pictured it being a whole separate site altogether at one point. But the more I transition this blog into the site I’ve been dreaming of, the more I want to officially make that change. And the only thing stopping me is the fact that I feel bad for making so many changes on you all.
So right now, I’m asking for your continued patience and even your permission to make one final name change and possibly one more slight design change this weekend and we’ll be all good moving forward. I swear! For realz. No more changes. I’m on the right track now and it’s all falling into place!! I’m getting excited!
LASTLY, WE HAVE MY MENTAL HEALH…
It’s not that I’m doing bad mentally, because I’m not at all. I’m just overwhelmed with work right now and figuring out all the above plans. Plus some people are really driving me insane lately. I’d love to unsubscribe from other people’s comments and opinions. They just haven’t been helpful for me at all. It’s hard enough staying positive some weeks when you have depression and anxiety, but when everyone around you is being negative, it just makes it a million times harder. The last thing I need is for people to tell me to enjoy pregnancy or tell me to give up on my goals because “they’ll change when the baby’s born” or tell me to accept my new body because I’ll “never get it back anyways”. How are these comments helpful to me?! Right, they’re not. So right now, I’m desperately needing a little space to focus on myself and regain control.
Running a blog or a business is hard. Very hard. And it makes it even more challenging when you struggle with your mental health as well. And I think that’s part of my issue here. Not every day is a good day. So while I’m insanely productive on my good days, my days where I’m tired and drained just aren’t as productive. They’re hard. Hence why this rebrand has been such a long process these last few months.
Again, I am so appreciative of all your patience and support as I figure all this out. As of right now, I plan to take the weekend to clear my mind and hone in on my next step here. If you come to my site on Monday and see a new name or a new design, I’m sorry. I really am. Normally a rebrand is done in the background and I’m doing it all while my site is still live. Which isn’t ideal. So I’m sorry. But again, I promise you all I’m almost to where I want to be. And it’ll all be more than worth it once I’m there!